Honesty

While it might appear that I have indeed fallen off the face of the earth (and sometimes I feel like I have!), I am still here and kickin'. Sadly, this whole "adult life" and having a job has meant that my blog is on the back burner. Throughout the day, I give myself mental reminders that I need and want to blog, but then reality sets in and I realize that I have 84 other things on my to-do list. But, here I am now sitting on my couch watching Sweet Home Alabama and finally starting to feel like I have a grasp on things. It is a small grasp, but a grasp nonetheless. 

I'm not quite even sure where to begin, so I'm just going to start writing. Bear with me. 

Landing a full-time teaching position less than two months after moving to Indiana was something I honestly did not think would happen. The fact that it did work out, makes me incredibly grateful...it truly does. But, it is also been one of the most overwhelming, exhausting, and emotional transitions I have ever gone through. Particularly because I am still adjusting to a new life in a new home with a new roommate. My days are long, my classroom is still only half-decorated (hence the lack of pictures), and my plans are being created one day at a time. My feet are sore, my voice is hoarse, and my brain is constantly trying to remember and keep up with all this new lingo that I am learning. But, at the end of the day, I am grateful for all of these things. Because, despite my efforts to tell Nick that all I want to do is be a stay-at-home girlfriend, that doesn't help pay the bills at the end of the day (I thoroughly enjoyed that for a short time, though!). I know that I am very lucky to have a job and I know that things will settle down and I know that there are many a people that would love this chance that I have been given. 

All of my teacher friends will know what I mean when I say that everything we ever learned about being a first-year teacher is entirely true! Like, spot on. Laughter. Tears. Stress. Anxiety. Eagerness. More Tears. The gang's all here! Something so simple as finishing your math lesson right on schedule before moving on to the next subject feels like you just conquered the world. And then realizing that kids just don't quite get how to stand and walk in a straight, quiet line reels you back in to reality. There are ups and downs all day long, but that is what being a teacher is all about. Not everything will go perfect, but it all manages to come together somehow, someway in the end. And if it doesn't, that's what margaritas are for.

This post is not intended to be negative, by any means, and I hope that it doesn't come off that way. It's meant to be honest. That teaching can be really, really hard. Because while I could write and complain about everything that has gone less than perfect...what's the point? Sure, I've called and vented to my family and Nick, but it wouldn't do any good to harbor on the negatives and I'm pretty sure no one really wants to read about that anyway! I do hope that you're interested in some of the wonderful things that have happened though!

1. My teaching partner, Cherri, is absolutely fabulous. We are the only two 4th grade teachers, and I'd be lost without her, no doubt. She will drop anything that she is doing to answer the silliest of my questions and she helps me do anything and everything. We plan our lessons together and she always keeps me in the loop. She has a way of telling me that everything will be okay and she has really taken me under her wing. There have been many days where I just want my mom, and she's the one I can turn to. Until I get in the car and can call Sarah :)

2. My kids are sweet! I've gotten cute notes and "best teacher ever" cards and they always help put things back into perspective. They have also learned that coloring with orange and blue and writing "Go Gators!" on their paper isn't a bad thing. I'm definitely creating some little Gators!

3. I've been told that I'm doing a good job. Which is always really, really nice to hear :) 

 4. Every day is getting better and a bit easier. This week started off rough, but went uphill. I am starting to get into the swing of things and find a rhythm with the kids...which is enjoyable for everyone!

As always, Nick has continued to be very supportive and is good about giving me tough love when I need it. Sometimes I do just want him to shut up and listen, but he always finds something encouraging to say and he does do a good job at putting things back into perspective. I feel guilty because I haven't been able to give him my undivided attention or just have a lighthearted conversation with him in what feels like forever. I wake up at 5:15, get home at 6:00, and am in bed by 9:30 so our time has been limited. When I do get home, I just want to sit and have some peace and quiet, which makes me feel selfish. I decided to skip the lake this weekend because I had papers to grade and work to get done and knew I could be more productive here, but it's also been a bit lonely. I kept wishing all day that I could be at the lake with him, but I also think that a day to myself might have been a good thing. Being long distance for three years has been all I've ever known and being by myself was just always how it was. I enjoy my alone time so I still think it's important that we still have that from time to time. But, he reminded me last night as he texted me goodnight, that "soon enough it will be just you and me, on the couch. Every night. :-)" ...and I'm also ready for that!

Again, thank you to everyone who has called or wrote or texted or tweeted or facebook-ed me to let me know that I'm in your thoughts. It really does mean so much to me and makes my days better. This new chapter in my life is just that...new. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. I feel like I can't keep my head above water, but I haven't even gotten my feet wet. I have no idea what my life will be like a year from now and I have no idea what Monday has in store for me. I can't believe I've already been in Fort Wayne for two months, yet it feels like I've been here for two years. 

If there is anything that I do know, it's these 3 things:

1. I am pumped for the *NSYNC reunion performance at the VMAs. I may even practice my Bye, Bye, Bye dance moves to prep for it. 

2. Gator Football is only 1 week away. I'm ready for some Coach Boom!

3. I hope I am a better teacher than I am a blogger. I promise to *try* to post again soon. 

Until next time :)

Miss Garner

Remember in my very first post how I said I didn't have a job moving up to Fort Wayne (and everyone was asking!!) but would let the world know when I did?? Well. Today is that day.

I AM EMPLOYED! 

I will be teaching 4th grade at North Side Elementary School in Kendallville, IN and I am so excited! Here's how it all went down. 

My daily routine for the past few months was to get online, check the job postings for schools in the area, apply to ANY that applied to me (I think I even applied for a first grade position), and keep my fingers crossed. As the days passed and I was getting no feedback, I came to terms with the fact that I would probably have to substitute for the first year and get my foot in the door that way. And honestly, I was okay with that. I was still holding out a sliver of hope that something permanent would come up, but since my teaching license and certification is still pending, I had a feeling I was not a very desirable candidate. As of last Wednesday, I counted and had applied for 46 positions. And hadn't gotten a single callback. Talk about discouraging.

Then, last Thursday, my luck changed! The day prior, I had gotten word of an anticipated job opening at an elementary school in a school district that I hadn't really even considered. It was a little further away and the thought of filling out one more application was not appealing. My friend Brittney first told me about it because her boyfriend, Matt, is a middle school teacher in that area. He forwarded me the job posting and I noticed that the principal's name and email address were available. Before I started the whole application process, I thought I should just email her and explain my situation (pending certification) to see if she would even consider me. I did just that and waited to hear back. Not 20 minutes later, I got a call from Carolyn (Nick's mom) saying that she passed my resume along to the high school principal in that area. She works for Coca-Cola and one of her customers is the high school. That principal was kind enough to send my resume to the elementary principal. So in the matter of just a couple of hours, this principal got my resume twice so I was feeling a little more hopeful! I didn't hear back from her that day, but on Thursday she called me and asked if I would be able to interview on Monday! I was elated!! Even if I didn't get the job, it was a step in the right direction. 

After a weekend of portfolio building, interview clothes shopping, and constant scenarios and questions running through my mind...Monday came pretty quick! I was surprisingly not very nervous driving into the interview, but when I got into the room and saw FIVE people staring at me with questions ready to be fired off...the nerves settled in. I felt very composed and thought I answered the majority of the questions well, but of course, there were moments when I thought to myself..."Well, that was a dumb answer" or "Did I even answer the question that she just asked me?" The thirty minutes flew by and I politely made my way to the front desk so the secretary could make some copies of my paperwork. About 15 seconds after leaving the room, the principal came back out, asked me to come back in, and said "You're not a criminal, are you?" I adamantly said no and she came back with, "Well, pending your background check and references are good...welcome to North Side!" I was shocked!! I giggled and thanked her profusely and told her how excited I was. Sure, I thought the interview went well and hoped that my chances were good but I would have never expected to be hired on the spot like that. I had to go down to the superintendent's office immediately to start filling out paperwork so I didn't even have a chance to call anyone to tell them. Two hours later, Nick apparently couldn't handle it anymore so he called me and I said, "Sorry, I would have called you sooner but I've been busy signing paperwork because I was hired!" He was ecstatic and that made it really sink in for me. It had been just a whirlwind couple of hours, I didn't really have time to just sit and be excited about it. I spent the whole drive home calling my family and that's when it felt real!

I didn't want to say anything publicly (I didn't want to jinx myself or I was sure something would fall through!) but I went back to the school yesterday and when I saw this...I'd say that's pretty official :)

My classroom! (I love that they put "Miss" hehe)

I got keys to my classroom and the building and got a tour of the school. Everyone I met was so friendly and welcoming and it really eased my mind and made me even more excited. My room is of course pretty bare, but I was relieved to see that the former teacher left a LOT of her posters and manipulatives so at least I will have a place to start! My first official day is Friday and the kids first day is next Wednesday (so soon!).

Champs. Heather Dubrow style. #RHOC

Nick came home that night with flowers and champagne and reservations for Chop's already set up for Tuesday night. He was so thoughtful and kept telling me how proud he was and I genuinely know how excited (and relieved!) he is that I got a near perfect job! We had a beautiful night celebrating last night filled with champagne and martinis at my absolute favorite restaurant in Ft. Wayne. It was perfect and it made me realize all over again how lucky I am to have Nick and his support. 

So. Good. No leftovers for me!

I am so excited for this next chapter in my life and am so thankful for this opportunity! It really is true that it's not what you know, but who you know! Had it not been for Carolyn and Brittney & Matt, I would have never heard about this position. Keep me in your thoughts and wish me luck...I'm going to need it! Even though there will probably definitely be some a lot of stressful tears over these next crazy few weeks, I am feeling very lucky to have a wonderful job! 

Enjoying these next few days before the real world does kick in and figuring out what insurance plan I want (big girl time!)

Until next time :)